Introduction - Day ONE

I decided I wanted to lose weight.
After weeks and weeks of going to the gym, I decided that brisk walking on a treadmill for 30 minutes once or twice a week just wasn't giving me the results I wanted. I tried and tried but damn it, sweating is gross. I even wonder if it's worth it during sex.


Regardless, this is how I feel most of the time:

Slight exaggeration of my body

Not even the smooth flavor of diet orange flavored Crush could fill the empty void of sadness in the pit of my stomach.


Obviously being that overweight is a problem. After talking it over with my friends, I realized that an eating disorder was probably the best way to go -- especially for someone like me, who has a tendancy to procrastinate and is a little lazy.


Bulimia was the eating disorder I chose -- or should I say, it chose me.
According to Wiki, Bulimia "is an eating disorder characterized by restraining of food intake for a period of time followed by an over intake or binging period that results in feelings of guilt and low self-esteem... The most common form is defensive vomiting, sometimes called purging; fasting, the use of laxatives, enemas, diuretics, and over exercising are also common."


Restraining of food intake for a period of time then overeating? That's what I do every day! I don't eat breakfast -- I don't usually over eat at lunch but I could start. That pit of sadness isn't getting any smaller and cheeseburgers are a delicious way to make myself feel better.


Defensive vomiting -- admitting, I hate vomiting. We'll have to work on that.


I am not against laxatives but I am not even considering an enema.


"over exercising are also common"?!?
That has to be the most upsetting. Exercise? Clearly I don't understand the point of an eating disorder. I don't want to have to over-exercise. I barely 'barely-exercise'. I think I'll work up to "over exercising".


My end goal is to look something like this:

slight overexaggeration of my future body

There was this episode of Full House where D.J. starts working out hardcore and puts pictures of skinny models on the refrigerator. John Stamos, Bob Saget and Co. were really upset by this (even though I'm sure history can now pinpoint this episode as when the Olsen twins began their own bulimia journey) and D.J. ended up loving herself as she was <insert audience 'awww's and tears>.
I already love myself -- I just hate that I can't wear the clothes I want to wear -- so I don't know how Bob Saget is going to save me.
I think D.J. had a good idea though. I am going to tape pictures of clothes I like all over my house and above my toilet to remind myself of WHY I'm doing this.
D.J. also had another really good idea for 'food'. In the episode, instead of eating food, she would make 'ice cubes on a stick' and eat it instead. Bitch was so dramatic, she couldn't even make them flavored. She was crying for help.

dramatic ice-eating bitch

Other than the bland taste, she had a good idea. I think freezing chicken broth or juice might be a good idea. Your body does need SOME calories, after all. If we're having an eating disorder, we should try to do it as healthy as possible.

Tune in tomorrow because Day Two is going to cover withholding food until we can't take it and purging. I have a feeling that vomiting is going to be a daily challenge.